I’ve found myself thinking about an old crush quite a bit recently.
I had a dream about him last night. I spurned X for this boy after I kicked X’s girlfriend in the face. (I never have normal dreams. They’re always odd….)
We’ll call him E. E was a year under me in high school. We’d known each other through mutal friends since about 7th or 8th grade. My ex-best friend took me up to her cabin when I was in 8th grade. Her brother took E and his younger brother. We sort of bonded that week. Nothing happened of course because at the time I was a good girl. My ex-bestie was madly ‘in love’ with him, so I kept my emotional distance.
We didn’t talk for some years because of my best friend and a falling out they had. Around comes my senior year of high school and suddenly I notice the boy that had been roughly my size in 8th grade was 6′5 and had the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes. He was now a football player, but one of the quiet ones with longer dark, dark brown hair. I’m a sucker for dark hair and light eyes.
He was in my study hall all year and we exchanged a few smiles and looks. I was working on a mural in the hallway for my art class and he came to take pictures one day. We flirted a tiny bit. And a few days we flirted some more when he came into the Guidance Office for papers.
He was the first guy I ever actually thought ‘I want to fuck you.’ He wasn’t the most gorgeous guy ever, but he was tall and strong and I could practically imagine myself melting in his arms. Even now I’m turning myself on thinking about him.
The dream about him last night reawakened my memories of him. And oh god, the dirty, bad, naughty things I’d love to do to him…….
Too bad I’ve got no way to casually run into him or start talking to him…..Damnit. And damn him for not having a facebook.
This is going to be my new fixation until I find another boy, I can tell. Mmm…….he sure is missing out on some serious fun…….maybe if I ask his sister about him……
I’m pathetic at times. Lol.
