Going Down That Path Again….

13 08 2008

Fuck. I’m so fucking turned on right now.

I was talking to X like I usually do via text messages before we fall asleep. Suddenly the conversation turns from him disliking me calling him ‘loserface’ to how he needs a new nickname for me. And from how when he calls me ‘wench’ I feel like a pirate hooker to how I’d look ‘SO hot’ as a sexy pirate to what do I want right now. I ask if he really wants to know. He says yes. I tell him in explict detail.

That leads to me telling him some of my naughty, dirty, kinky fantasies. Which leads to us cybering. Him telling me he wants to tie me up and use me as his own little whore, a fuck toy for his own enjoyment. I reply that he’d like that, me being his own personal cockslut, using me for his own pleasure, making me beg and scream. He says he’d pull out and cum on my tits. And I tell him I’d run my fingers through it, licking it off and teasing him. He wants to fuck my ass and cum deep inside it. I want to tie him to the bed and tease him till he begs me to let him cum. He wants to bite my neck and make me scream. He wants to spank me hard just to see if I’d like it.

I’m soaking wet and aching for X to be here and inside me.

I honestly doubt us not fucking is going to last very long at the rate we’re currently going. And would I willingly let myself fall into the same sort of relationship I had this past year with him? The sad thing is, the answer is yes. If I’m getting fucked hard by him. If we’re doing the things we talk about, I’m not going to give a shit about his girlfriend. She’s obviously not giving him something he needs. He keeps coming back to me.

And I think the reason he does is because I give him something she doesn’t. I let him be rough with me. He can bruise me, bite me, throw me around, call me nasty names and I love it. He doesn’t worry about me breaking because when he gets rough I demand more. I tell him to fuck me harder, I bite him, and claw at him and egg him on until he loses control. I like the pain sometimes. There’s been nothing so far that he’s suggested we try that I’ve turned down. And I’m nearly insatiable. I never once turned down sex with him. Frankly, I was the one pawing at him wanting more. And I don’t think he gets that from her.

Fuck. Here it goes again……8 days and counting until I’m back within a few minutes distance of him……

Shit…..I want him so bad…..



2 responses

14 08 2008

Use this guy to find out where your limits are, then get the fuck away. Although I’m sure he has justifiable reasons for screwing over his girlfriend and that you both like the fucking, I’d say his lack of honesty gives him an extremely limited shelf-life in terms of your future.

I do not mean to suggest that screwing a guy with a girlfriend is inherently bad. Because of your relative inexperience and what you seem to be learning from him, it’s probably more efficient to experiment with only one guy you know fairly well rather than a string of casual acquaintances or starting all over from scratch with a new guy.

I also am not suggesting that there is absolutely no possibility for future hardcore BDSM bliss for the two of you. I am just saying that the dude is going to have to go through some serious storm and stress before he gains the ability to even begin to treat you better than a covert fuckbuddy.

Bottom line: Use him to find your limits and to hone your fucking skills. While continuing to string him along, start devoting some serious time to finding a guy who can be more honest with himself. Who knows? The new guy might be self-confident enough to get a kick out of your situation.

Would you believe I’m a straight guy who is obsessed with tits? I guess my inner Dan Savage comes out when I’ve just taken an adderal and I still am desperately trying to avoid finishing a project due tomorrow.

15 08 2008

Ben- I know I should get the fuck away from him, but when he’s one of my best friends, it’s a bit hard to do that.

Thank you for the advice, though. And I hope you ended up finishing your project!

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