10 09 2008

“So my girlfriend just called and left me….”

That was the message I got in the middle of my American Government class this afternoon from X. I couldn’t pay attention for the rest of the hour and a half I was in there and I even skipped my next class because I felt so sick.

I’m worried about him, first and formost. He left in the middle of his class, according to BFD, and called off work for today. I know he’s really upset and I don’t know what to do. I mean, I let him know I’d be there for him if he needed anything. And best friend me wants to just kidnap him and hug him and let him know everything is going to be okay. But emotions part of me wants to hug him too, but give him space. Let him know I’ll still be here when he’s ready.

I just don’t know what to do because I don’t want to mess things up. Being intimatly involved with him makes things so much more complicated and tricky and messy because I have no clue what is going to be too much or what he even needs.

God. I feel awful saying this, but I’m really happy she ‘left’ him. I’m just hoping they don’t get back together. And I feel bad that I feel that way but it’s the truth.

I feel sick. Gah.

And I haven’t talked to him aside from one text apologizing for forgetting we had plans to drive somewhere today. I’ve texted him twice, a few hours apart, just asking him if he was okay and to let me know because I was worried. Nothing.

If he doesn’t get back to me, I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight for being so worried.


10 09 2008

I haven’t had sex since Sunday.

And that sounds so pathetic and whiny of me, but it’s been almost three days. I can’t really help it if right before a certain time of the month I get so horny I feel like I could crawl out of my skin from being so antsy.

And X and I have both been busy. Which sucks. I mean, I get to hang out with him every Tuesday and Thursday before our two hour class together, but we keep things PG and it’s no fun. I’m thinking of telling him to get his ass over to my apartment instead tomorrow, so I can get a quickie before class.

School is killing me. Too much to do and it doesn’t seem like there’s enough time.