Smart Girls Make Better Lovers

23 09 2008

What I’ve learned over the past year as I’ve explored my sexuality is that smart girls really do make better lovers. Chicks with brains can make you scream. It’s so very true and all you men out there should know it.

First and foremost, when I say chicks with brains I don’t mean uber-geniuses who are going to go on to cure cancer, stop world hunger and find a way to make chickens shit money. I mean chicks who think. Women who know how to use that grey matter in their noggin. In general, girls with commonsense, the ability to rationalize, and a desire and a drive to learn.

Now, I know you’re thinking that I’m insane for saying that a girl with a brain makes a better lover. Anyone can be a good lover. But believe me, I’m not insane for saying that. In my experience it’s so very true. Hot, drop dead gorgeous chicks can be good lovers too. As can vapid girls. As can girls who think far too much. I’m not saying this is Ultimate Rule of Nature. Just that girls with brains have rational reasons to be considered better in bed.

At this point I’m sure you just want me to stop yapping and tell you why smart girls make better lovers. And that is what I shall do.

One: Smart Girl Tool #1 Commonsense. Smart Girls have a good grasp on commonsense. We understand at least the basics of male and female anatomy. We know that Tab A goes in Slot B and with the right tools and person can go in Slot C too.

My friend was just telling me the other day about how he experienced the worst handjob ever. He said the girl took his penis in both hands and started rubbing like she was trying to start a fire. He stopped her because he was afraid of getting friction burns. That just baffled my mind. Who could even begin to think that something like that would feel good for a guy? I mean, with lube and a slower pace, I could see it being enjoyable. But the fact that the girl almost gave my poor friend friction burns just attests to the fact that she didn’t think things through.

So commonsense is the first tool of Smart Girls. Use it.

If you think it might be painful for someone, or if you don’t think the laws of physics work that way, you probably shouldn’t do it. Or at least proceed with caution. On the flip side, if your partner moans when you press your finger tips into his back commonsense says there’s a good chance he’d probably enjoy you raking your fingernails along his back in the heat of the moment.

It’s all about connecting A with B to arrive at C. Commonsense. And because we can connect those dots, we don’t need to be told what to do the majority of the time.

Two:Smart Girls love to learn. We love challenges. That’s why we read books or take difficult classes or do those frustrating puzzles and wordgames and sudoku. We like to be given a problem and have a chance to solve it.

To use myself as an example. I gave my first blow job roughly a year ago. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. But using Smart Girl Tool #1 Commonsense, I managed to give some decent head. But I don’t like simply being decent. I read up on articles, I learned how my gag reflex worked and how to suppress it. I read up on what spots are most sensitive. That improved my blow jobs. But I also started listening to X, asking him what he wanted me to do. And I improved my technique. It took me a year to get where I am. Just last week I deep throated for the first time because after months of experimenting, I finally figured out the mechanics of it. I took blow jobs as a challenge and I didn’t stop improving myself until I felt I mastered them. Now X tells me I give the best blow jobs he’s ever had.

Of course, this love of learning isn’t just limited to improving techniques. Smart Girls love learning about themselves too. If we have good grasps on how our bodies work then sex is better for us. And when it’s better for one person, it’s probably better for the other too.

Smart Girls look at new lovers as puzzles. We like to find what makes you tick. We like to solve you. And thus, by understanding what makes you tick, we’re better in bed. Because honestly, you can have the hottest body in the world, but if you don’t understand  how it works, if you don’t make an effort to know how it works sex can’t be that enjoyable.

Three: Smart Girl Tool #2 Masturbation. Intelligent girls know how to take care of themselves, in more ways than one. It doesn’t seem like it would make us better lovers, but being independent enough to self-love really does make a difference.

I guess it goes along with loving learning in a way. We don’t need you to satisfy our needs 24/7. We know how to get ourselves off and we’re not ashamed that we do it.

Of course, you think I’m crazy. If girls get themselves off, they won’t want sex anymore. Quite contrare. I’ve spoken to many of my friends on the topic and masturbating does not diminish sex drive. All my friends are in agreement that sometimes we can get better, stronger orgasms from self-love but that nothing can imitate the feel of skin on skin, the heat, the breathlessness, the intimacy of sex with a partner.

So, by being independent and exploring ourselves, we learn better what gets us off. We learn to understand our bodies and can better use them to satisfy both ourselves and our lovers.

A good friend of mine has masturbated a grand total 3 times in her whole life. She’s never gotten off from sex. She’s told me she feels like masturbating is cheating on her lover. Like he should be there when she does it. But yet, she rarely gets off from sex. And to think that she lives life without orgasming makes me sad. If she engaged in a little self-love, I can bet her sex life would improve.

Four: Smart Girls are experimental. We like trying new things and exploring new venues. We won’t just say no to something. Honestly, we’ll probably go home and research it to find out the pros and cons of your specific fetish.

You ask us to try anal and there’s a good chance we’re not going to say ‘Ew, omg. Ew. Gross. Pervert.’ We’re going to go home and look up anal. We’re going to find out that it can be very pleasurable for both parties and that, with the proper preparation it shouldn’t be a problem. I had my misgivings about anal sex at first, but after doing a good amount of research I felt confident in trying it.

We’re open-minded and willing to try lots of things. We don’t let taboos hold us back at times. And that just makes everything more fun. Because plain old missionary can get a bit old after a while.

Five: Smart Girls are safe. We carry our own condoms. We’re usually on some form of contraception. And we know enough about our bodies to know if something is off. I know with me, I know enough about my period and my fertility to know if the condom breaks if I’m at a big risk for pregnancy or not. I know when I get a twinge in my side about 14 days into my cycle that I’m ovulating.

Smart Girls know what’s going on in their bodies. They read labels and warnings on medicines. They know what to do if condoms break. They get tested and aren’t afraid to ask their doctor questions. And that might not make sex better, but it sure as hell makes us better, safer lovers in the end.

So go out there guys and find yourself a chick with a brain. I can bet you she’ll blow your mind.

And don’t tell me I’m crazy for writing this all up. If you look at the majority of sex bloggers out there, we’re intelligent, outgoing, confident women who know what we want and what we like. And that can’t be an accident.



24 responses

23 09 2008
Note: Read me! « Phaedra Fallen

[...] Featured Post: Smart Girls Make Better Lovers [...]

23 09 2008

Hells yeah! So true!


25 09 2008

So true! And intelligent women attract intelligent, savvy men, who are usually better lovers themselves… it’s a win-win situation :=)

26 09 2008

i love smart girls, and they do, indeed, make much better lovers. give me brains with that body, any day.

28 09 2008
Sugasm #148

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers “Chicks with brains can make you scream.” [...]

28 09 2008
Sasha Sappho

Oh, this is just brilliant. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t beaming just as a little as I kept scrolling down and thinking “yup. I do that. Oh, and that, too. Yeah. And that.”

Really, I think you hit the nail on the head here. I’m going to link to this post – I want all my friends, lovers, and readers to see it.


28 09 2008

I’m really glad everyone seems to like this post. It was just a spur of the moment idea for me.

And Sasha, I’m really honored that you like this post enough to link it! I’m just excited I’m getting read. Lol.

28 09 2008

Holy wow!!! I LOVED this post!! I’m so glad Sasha did link it so that I ran in and read it in it’s entirety. I completely agree. Well thought out and well written, you smart girl you!

28 09 2008

What a most excellent piece. Very well done. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. <3

28 09 2008
Fruit Taster

That’s a really nice post. It’s nice to be this empowered about your own sexuality. Good for you and for those who read this!

29 09 2008
Fat Controller

What an insightful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. From a personal point of view I can only say that I met a girl at university who ticked all of these boxes and, 30 years later, she still does!

29 09 2008

I like the way you put things here and I agree with what you say, yet when it comes to sex some smart folks just get hung up on things that seem real stupid.

29 09 2008

I’m a smart girl, a nerdy girl, a sexy girl. Great article!

30 09 2008

I couldn’t agree more, I’m surprised though that you thought people would disagree or think it was odd that you think this – I’ve always though of the clever girls as wonderful. I think the main thing an intelligent or enquiring mind brings to the bedroom is curiosity and a desire to learn and try new things, that’s definitely something that my behaviour is heavily influenced by.

1 10 2008

I’ve seen a Gorilla do the ‘penis-fire’ thing at a zoo. Might be she got it from a nature documentary.

2 10 2008
Viviane’s Sex Carnival » Blog Archive » Sugasm #148

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers “Chicks with brains can make you scream.” [...]

4 10 2008
Bondage-Radio » Sugasm #148

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers “Chicks with brains can make you scream.” [...]

5 10 2008
Lady Sascha, Cocktease Extraordinaire » Blog Archive » A Hot, Sticky Sweet Sugasm

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers [...]

9 10 2008
Lucky Strike 22

Hey Z,
I couldnt stop nodding my head as I was reading… It is so very true Smart Girls are much better lovers. Are you sure you’re just
19? Anyway… I’m 22 and I just gave my first blow job about 2 years ago to this guy I had been dating already for a year… and to me it wasnt rocket science I was comfortable with him and till this day he swears I was already a pro and he says I was lying to him about him being my first… I just agree …
Peace and Love

26 10 2008

Hear, hear!

3 12 2008
The Femmeinist Fucktoy » Pour Some Sugasm On Me (#148)

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers “Chicks with brains can make you scream.” [...]

5 12 2008

This is so true … but reading it, I can’t understand how a girl COULDN”T be smart in bed. It comes naturally to me, but I guess I’m the minority among my friends in that I love giving head, etc. Perhaps other girls just aren’t quite as sexual!

11 12 2008

Christabel – many aren’t! They either don’t know what to do, don’t want to do it, or aren’t confident enough to throw themselves into doing it, all of which is a real shame considering what they might be/are missing out on.

16 12 2008
Sugasm #148 « Heartbreak Nymphomania

[...] Smart Girls Make Better Lovers [...]

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