29 12 2008


For a blog that’s not even six months old, I think 50,000 hits is great!

Thanks so much to everyone who reads and comments! :D


27 12 2008

I never thought I’d lose friends because of my private life.

Three of my friends from home staged an ‘intervention’ last night. Three and a half hours of being yelled at and told to stop sleeping with X. I wanted to shoot myself in the head.

To preface, last year I was really into X. I couldn’t help it. I talked about him to my friends at home and they told me that it wasn’t good I started hooking up with him because he had a girlfriend. But they left me be for the most part. X hurt me a few times but never so bad that I didn’t recover in a week or so. And then I told that this past summer we were going to try and stop. That was kind of a fib because I never really did intend to stop quite yet, but whatever. X came and visited me and left in the middle of the night, breaking my heart. I won’t go into it because it still hurts a bit to think about that night. I still talked to him after that. But it hurt. So at the urgings of my friends, I told him I needed to stop talking to him. My friends were elated. They had won. They tried to get me to put everything that reminded me of him in a box to give to them to ‘hide’ until I was ‘fully over him.’ I put stuff in a box, but never gave it to them. I realized a few weeks later after minor lapses in my X-talking-ban that I was more miserable not talking to him than I was trying to get him out of my life. Those things in that box made me smile when I thought of all the inside jokes tied to them, but they didn’t make me even the tiniest bit sad.

That’s when I said fuck it. I’m talking to him again. And while I still hurt, it made me happy to have my friend back. Because despite the sex, we’ve always been friends first and foremost. We kept up the ‘we’re not sleeping together anymore’ thing until a week or so before we were heading back to school. I was being selfish and I don’t know why he was okay with it again, but I wasn’t complaining.

The first thing he did when I got back to school was throw me down on the bed and fuck my brains out.

And we continued fucking. But I didn’t tell my friends at home because I knew they’d be more than unhappy with me and honestly, I didn’t feel like it was their place to really meddle in my sex life, which is what they tend to do. Meddle.

Well, a friend at school recently slipped and let it be known that I’m still sleeping with him. My friends were going to ‘confront’ me about it unless I told them. So I did. And then they backed me into a corner and made me tell my other friends.

Last night, I saw a side of my friends that I have NEVER seen in my whole life. And I’ve known some of these girls for ten to fourteen years.

I was screamed at. I was belittled. I was walked away from. I was accused. I was criticized. I had fucking Sex and the City quoted at me.

My ‘friends’ attacked me. And I’m not sure I can really forgive them.

For one, Sex and Love are not mutually exclusive. You don’t have to love someone to have sex. And emotions and sex are not mutually exclusive either. My one friend tried to tell me that even after one night stands you have feelings for the guy you slept with. Even if you hate them. What? I laughed and told her that I’d had one night stands that meant NOTHING and had NO feelings or emotions involved whatsoever. Just sex. My friend didn’t think that was possible.

Also, sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend does not make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me a saint, but it doesn’t make me the devil either. X and I have a fucked up, twisted relationship that most people just don’t get. But neither of us is a ‘bad’ person. We’ve made choices that don’t conform with standard morals but who cares? It’s our lives we’re fucking with, no one elses. We’re consenting adults. Who cares that we happen to sleep together too. But apparently my one friend doesn’t want to get a bad reputation by associating with bad people. So she’s not sure if she can be my friend anymore.

Not loving the person you’re sleeping with makes the sex you have trivial. Because I’ve never had sex with someone I love who loves me back, I can’t even compare my sex life to theirs because theirs is so much better than mine. Sex with someone you love is the only good way to have sex. It’s the only way to be really statisfied.  Really? Because having a guy make me cum 8 or 9 times in roughly an hour, with at least 4 of those orgasms being squirting ones isn’t good statisfying sex? Emotions might make a stronger mental connection during sex, but I’m not looking for emotional. Just physical. I mean, having sex with one of my best friends does make me feel closer to him but only because it’s just another factet that makes our friendship different. I dunno. It’s nothing to do with love for me, it’s all about the fact that I’m damn horny and I want sex.

Because I continue to sleep with the guy who broke my heart in the past, it’s going to fuck me up forever in the relationship department. Becuase I can’t be ‘over him’ so soon. Because 5 months isn’t enough to get over someone. It took my friend two years to get over someone enough to be able to talk to him again. I told her I don’t hold grudes. X left crying that night. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. I can’t fault him. I haven’t totally forgiven him but that’s water under the bridge now. We’ve moved past that and we’ve become closer friends. I’m not fucked up because of this relationship. Honestly, this blog and the sex blogging community is what has changed my veiws on things. I don’t beleive monogamy always works out. People can be polyamorus. Sex isn’t love. And love isn’t sex. You can combine the two but they don’t come hand in hand. Sex isn’t bad or dirty or sinful. It’s natural. And it’s better to explore your own sexuality then oppress it. X has encouraged me to be open, but it’s the sex blog community that has ‘ruined’ me more. And I don’t care. I like myself better this way and it won’t fuck with my future relationships.

And this pissed me off. Having sex more times in one week than there are days in the week is not sick, gross, wrong or messed up. BFA told me that it’s unnatural to have sex that often. I laughed. I seriously did. My friends claimed to have sex drives just as high as mine and they didn’t need sex that often. That was messed up. Sex once or twice a week or two weeks is enough. If you’re horny you just deal with it, or if you think ‘that’ is okay, you help yourself. I could not believe what I was hearing. My friends were telling me that having sex when my body wanted it, with a partner who also wanted it, was bad. I was baffled.

They then basically gave me an ultimatum. Sex with X or them. And normally, I would NEVER place sex before my friends. But they attacked me, my opinions, my sexuality, my morals and my best friend. I was not giving in to them. It wasn’t that I was placing X before them, it was that they hurt me so badly that I didn’t want to let them win. I didn’t want them to force my hand into doing something.

That is not friendship to me. Friendship is loving someone and being there for them when they need you. It’s giving your opinion but realizing that they might not listen. Friendship is accpeting someone’s choices, no matter what you think of them, and being there for them if things fuck up. Apparently my friends can’t deal with me ‘destroying myself’ so if I don’t stop they’re gone.

And honestly, after last night, I don’t really fucking care. I have better friends who let me be me without forcing their ideals down my throat. Perhaps I’ve changed too much to fit with them anylonger. I don’t know. All I do know is that this is my life. They need to either accept it or get out of it.

When Guys Take Forever To Cum or How Family Guy Can Ruin Sex

21 12 2008

Having the TV on in the background when X and I have sex is just something normal to us.

Living in apartments with roommates who either are not happy about our ’special’ brand of friendship or who don’t even know about it makes background noise a must when we have sex. I’m not really a screamer. I mean, I can be loud when given a chance, but I’m not overly loud all the time. I do make noises though. I moan and squeak and gasp and talk a little bit. And X grunts and breaths loudly and talks too. So while the chance of being over heard is minimal, it still exists.

So the TV goes on.

Most of the time it doesn’t bother us or distract us. Unless Waiting… is on and X decides it’s more fun to watch Ryan Reynolds talk about his balls than it is to focus on the fact that I’m on top of him fucking him. I don’t get men sometimes.

But that’s not the point of my post.

Wednesday night I pressured X into sex, which is something I rightfully should never have to do but whatever. After over and hour of him subtly teasing me, I was horny and with the prospects of three weeks without sex in my future, I told him he should fuck me. He said no for a bit, but finally gave in. Thank God. You know how guys talk about thinking with their dicks? Sometimes I think I have a similar, more female problem.

I keep getting off topic. Basically, we started have sex. Nothing exciting, just our basic sex. Then we had sex doggy style and he intentional made me queef. I did it the other night, really loudly, and since then he seems to think this is the funniest damn thing ever. I sat up, turned around and hit him. He then decided he wanted to try something new. He sat on the end of the bed and had me stand up and fuck him. It didn’t work well because his bed was too tall. So we tried his computer chair.

This was much better. I fucked him until my legs were burning and he was bright red from the shoulders up. He was making faces and gasping and just in general not too in control of himself. This meant, by my previous experiences and observations, that he was really fucking close to cumming. All of a sudden he stops. Says he can’t. I look at him like he’s insane. He points to the TV.

“Do you know how awkward it is to hear Brian talk about the bible while you’re getting fucked?”

I just sighed.

“Mute the TV and get on the bed.”

He did and I ended up fucking him this time until he came really hard.

And he better damn appreciate how nice I was to him that night. It’s Sunday and my legs are still sore from fucking him for so damn long on Wednesday. I mean, he usually lasts a long time, but this was just excessive.

Sextoy.com: Under the Bed Restraint System

14 12 2008


To begin, I really like this sex toy.

X and I have had SO much fun playing with this toy. You can read some accounts of us trying it out it here and here.

I have a bit of a side that enjoys BDSM type stuff, as regular readers have probably noticed. So this toy was a natural pick for me. The packaging was simple when I recived it, exactly as it’s shown in the photo on the website. Opening it was a bit intimidating seeing as it was a neat mass of black tethers and cuffs. I recruited X to help me set it up and honestly, it only took us roughly 5 or 10 mins. You slide it under the mattress and viola, you have your own little bondage bed.

We tried the restraints on X first and I was a bit afraid that it wouldn’t really hold him down seeing as I only have a double bed and he’s 6′4ish. I had no problem with the cuffs fitting around his wrists and ankles, and they honestly held pretty well. Once he was on the bed, it only took a little bit of adjustment to get the restraints to the point where he was spread eagle on the bed. We really had fun with the toy and it did it’s job really well.

X says: This is really an amazing toy, we used it the first time with me being restrained, and my god it was quite possibly the best orgasm I have ever ALMOST had, 4 times…….  (to clarify, I teased him to the point of orgasm that many times)

Now, just today actually we tried the toy out on me. Mostly because I demanded that I needed to be restrained in order to review the toy properly. Hehe. The cuffs fit both my wrists and ankles as well as they had fit X’s. Though while X had willingly let me put them on him, I fought him the whole time he was restraining me. Now, I must mention that these are not made for people who are seriously into restraining or BDSM. After some struggling, it was easy to get the adjustable tethers to loosen up enough that I could manage to uncuff my hands. Despite this, the toy was very enjoyable.

X says: I’m disappointed I didn’t get to tickle her as much as I wanted.

Overall, I’ll give the under the bed restraint system an 8 for being fun, and exactly what was advertised.


12 12 2008

He spun me around and grabbed both my wrists in one hand.

I heard the ripping sound of velcro as he adjusted the cloth cuffs so it held both my wrists. I tugged and pulled. They weren’t coming free.

Before I had much more time to think his cock was out and I was being forced to my knees. I fought it but he was stronger. He shoved himself into my protesting mouth as I continued to fight. I flailed and struggled, trying my hardest to get my hands free.

The harder I struggled, the more forceful he was. I was gagging on his cock. Uncerimoniously, he gripped my head as he fucked my mouth. I tried to pull away, to turn my face. But all I succeeded in doing was smeer saliva on my cheek where it mixed with my hair and stuck to my face.

I pulled away for a moment to sit on the floor, still pulling at the cuffs. He grabbed a fistful of hair and hauled me up. He slammed his cock down my throat and held it there until I thought I wouldn’t be able to control my geg-reflex anymore. He let me pull away for a moment to sputter, then his dick was back.

“Stop fighting and I’ll be nice,” He told me.

I didn’t listen at first. I still tried to get away. And he continued to push my limits until I gave in.

I sucked his cock like a good little slut. He pushed the hair caked to my face back behind my ear, stroked my face. He still kept my head moving, but not forcefully. Not more than I could take. And I was wet, so turned on by being dominated.

He pulled my head back off his cock for a moment.

“What’s my name?” he demanded. I didn’t know what to say. I was confused.

When I didn’t respond instantly, he made me gag hard.

He asked me again. “What is my name?”

I took a deep gasp of air as he stopped to let me speak.

“Master,” I panted out.

With that he zipped his pants back up and reached down to unvelcro the cuff. Grinning down at me he reached a hand down to help me up.

“Time to go to class,” he said with an insufferable grin on his face, knowing I’d have to sit through the next three hours of classes turned on.

New Toy

11 12 2008

I wanted to play with my new toy.

He helped me set it up, stringing the straps under my mattress and pulling them up the side of my bed to rest on the top. I grinned. We stood and looked at our handiwork. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me flush against his body.

“So, who’s first?” I asked him with a grin.

He leaned his head down, his breath hot against my ear, “I’m feeling rather submissive tonight…”

He laid down on the bed and I straddled him. His arms were already above his head, waiting, and I could feel his cock was hard as I ground myself against him. I pulled his shirt over his head and took the first cuff. I wrapped the fabric around his wrist, and secured it with the velcro. I connected it to the strap. I repeated the same for his other limbs, once his pants and boxers were off.

He was effectively spread-eagled on my bed and turned on; his long, hard cock was resting against his stomach.

I sat between his legs and grabbed him, stroking him, asking him what he wanted me to do to him. He could barely get his thoughts out properly, stopping every sentence or so to close his eyes and get a grip on himself. I moved to be on top of him, raking my fingernails down his body. He would shiver a bit. I’d pinch his nipples and he’d glare at me. But through all this, he’d whine. And beg. Asking me to fuck him. Telling me he wanted to feel my hot, tight pussy around him.

But I told him no.

I gripped his cock and ran it against me, letting him feel how wet I was. I let the tip slide in, nothing more, while he begged me to stop teasing him. Every half a minute or so, I’d let him slide in a little deeper. Until once, I dropped myself fully down onto his cock. He gasped in surprise and relief only to look at me incredulously second later when I got off of him, leaving his cock wet and twitching in the air.

I laughed and reached into my drawer of toys. I pulled out my butt-plug and set it on his chest. He raised his eyebrows and I asked him if it was okay if I used it on him. He nodded.

I put a condom on it, and then lubed it up. Sitting between his legs, I began to press it into him. Once it was about halfway in, he began pushing his ass down on it. He was trying to take more of the plug. I smiled and pushed harder. His cock was rock hard and dripping.

Once the plug was all the way in, I straddled him once more. I rubbed my pussy against him and let him slide in all the way.

I rode him slowly as he pulled slightly against the restraints. Then I got on my feet, crouched above him, and fucked him. His breathing sped up, his face got red and he managed to speak long enough to tell me that if I could keep if up for 10 more minutes, he’d cum. So I kept fucking him until I could tell he was getting really close.

And I stopped. He looked at me like I was crazy. And I laughed. AndI teased him more. I continued fucking him until he was close and then stopping until my legs were jelly. I told him I wouldn’t be able to be on top anymore, my legs hurt too badly.

So I uncuffed his feet. And I uncuffed his hands. And in seconds he had me flat on my back with my legs pressed to my chest. Without a warning he thrust into me and began fucking me hard and relentlessly. I was moaning and pulling at him, telling him to fuck me harder. I don’t think he heard me. He was too focused on cumming at that point.

And a few moments later he did. He came hard all over my stomach. I ran my fingers through it and smiled up at him as he panted.

“I like my new toy.”

sextoy.com: Silicone Silk Dildo

9 12 2008


Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed with this toy, but it’s my own fault.

Looking at the picture on the site, I assumed all three of the toys were of similar size and because I didn’t read the actual specifications I was disappointed when I opened the box.

To begin, the dildo is only about the length and thickness of X’s middle or pointer finger. While this may be a nice size for some, it’s not for me. I’m spoiled by the fact that X is pretty big and so I tend to like the sex toys that fill me up and stretch me out more. This toy doesn’t fill me up. While it feels good, it just doesn’t quite hit what I need it to hit. I’m all about pressing against my G-spot with my toys, this one just doesn’t do that. It brushes against it, but because the silicone is soft, it has no pressure.

Despite this Silicone Silk dildo not being my type of toy, it’s still a good toy. I think I might like it more for anal, but I’ve yet to try that out. If you like smaller toys with a softer feel, then this toy is for you.

It also would probably be good if you are trying to get your guy to try anal himself. It’s small and thin enough to not intimidate him.

Overall, the toy is what was advertised, and it’s a good quality toy. Despite the fact that it’s not the toy for me, I’m going to give it a 7 out of 10.

Why Men Are Idiots

3 12 2008

I told him to leave it be.

As stated in my previous post 1% my feelings for X were sort of surfacing again. And I don’t like when that happens. It usually only takes me about a week to push them back down again. But he had to bug me. He had to ask what was wrong. And he wouldn’t take ‘nothing’ or ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘it’s not a big deal’ for an answer. He bugged and bugged and bugged until he figured it out.

And he told me:

-I’m just a best friend and that’s all I’ll ever be.

-That my breakdowns make me too high maintenance for a girlfriend

-That he will go to the end of the world for his friends, but he expects to not have to do that in a relationship.

-The sex we have is just because we both have physical needs.

-I would be unhappy with him. He couldn’t explain why. But I just would be.

And I was a bad person. He said maybe we need to change things. I said maybe we shouldn’t be friends and I got out of the car. Not because I actually believed that but because I couldn’t stand to have him see me breakdown.

I walked inside and I couldn’t make it up the stairs. I pressed my forehead to the wall and sobbed. It was so unfair to me. The guy is damn near perfect for me and I try to not think about that 99% of the time, but he caught me when I was weak and now I’m breaking down.

He ruined our friendship. At least I think he did. I don’t know. I just KNOW things are going to end up being awkward and it’s killing me.

I can’t stop crying. And it’s not because he broke my heart again. Because he didn’t. He hurt me a little. But mostly I’m just upset at the unfairness.

I know he can read this blog, but I feel no shame or remorse in saying that I think him and his girlfriend are wrong for each other. Terribly wrong. I’ve seen her throw him about. I’ve seen her guilt him into things. And he really is blind to it. And that’s part of the thing that kills me too. That he can’t see what’s beyond his own damn nose most days.

I just hope that we can salvage our friendship and our sexual relationship.

Pleasurists #6

1 12 2008

Jack & Katya by Digital Willy’s

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #5? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #7? Submit it here before Sunday December 7th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blogs if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Enter my Contest! Win Porn from Kink.Com! Deadline December 6th.

Want to play secret santa to one of your fellow bloggers? Now’s your chance!
Sign up for the Secret Santa XXXchange! Sign up period ends December 5th.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick
Ophoria Pleasure #6 by Wendy Blackheart
“Well fuck me in the ass.
No really. That’s what I did as soon as I got this toy out of the package!”
Note: How could I resist picking a toy called Pleasure #6 for Pleasurists #6? But more than that, this review made me want to own an Ophoria Pleasure #6, which is the highest criteria for my weekly pick.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Hitachi Magic Wand by Erin Leone
Slimline Vibrator Review by FeministInPink
Dynamic Duo by Erin Leone
Acuvibe by Sexorcism
Waterproof Rhapsody, Symphony Edition by Epiphora
Finger Sleeve with Vibrating Bullet by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
LELO Elise by Curvaceous Dee
G-Spot Dream Massager by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
Slimline Vibrator by Holden of Packing Vocals
Hop ‘n Rabbit Stroker Vibrator by Catalina Loves
The Seduction: Pretty in Pink by Domina Doll

Cobalt Dutchess by Phaedra Fallen
Acute and Silk by Ansley Agnello
Don Wands Blue Tip Clear Rings Glass Dildo by Epiphora
Ophoria Pleasure no. 6 by Ansley Agnello
Pure Pleasure Glass Dildo by Sylvanus and Mina of At Longing’s End
Blueberry Twist Glass Juicer by Shasta Gibson of Stiletto Diaries

Anal Toys
Pure Perfection – njoy Pure Plug by Thursday’s Child
Bootie by Ansley Agnello
The Flexi Felix – Best. Pet. Evar. by Elizabeth and Gabe of Pornocracy

Upside Down by Lolita Wolf
Lollipop Crop by Sinclair Sexsmith
Leopard Restraints by Betty Rocket
Blue Leather Blindfold by Ang

Lube/Massage Oil
Babeland Massage Oil Spray by Erin Leone
Babeland Body Kit by Hot Movies for Her
Eros Bodyglide by Essin’ Em
Strawberry Cheesecake O’My Lube by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
Maximus – Best Lube Evah by Betty Rocket
Not a box of bees by Bad Bad Girl

Adult Movies/Porn
Straight Guys For Gay Eyes & Women Too! – Nick by J.D. Bauchery
Bree & Sasha by The Porn Librarian
Safe is Desire by J.D. Bauchery
Crash Pad Series, Volume 2-Unlocked by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
Perversions of Lesbian Lust Vol. 1 by Domina Doll

Devine Satchel by Dangerous Lilly
The Velvet Touch Harness by Thursday’s Child
Jaguar Harness by Betty Rocket
How Dirty Toys Get Clean – Toy Cleaner by Thursday’s Child
Smart Balls by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Sugasm #153

1 12 2008

My post Rough is in the Top 3 this week. I can’t help but smile. I love knowing people enjoy what I write.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #154? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

For tonight, we’ll forget who and what we are.

“I want to play with you all night.”

Please, please don’t

“It will hurt, but it will be fine”


“I want you on top of me.”

Sugasm Editor

Radical Vixen

Editor’s Choice

Sometimes You Find You Get What You Need

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.