Darkness

25 02 2009

I knew something was up as soon as I opened the door.

The lights had been on when I’d stepped into the bathroom so I knew something was amiss when I walked out to a room that was pitch black. Going from the light in the bathroom to the inky darkness in the click of the light switch made me nervous. Still standing in the doorway I saw a dark shape move from the vicinity of the bed and before I could react I was on my knees with a hard cock in my mouth. I wasn’t given a choice as my hair was grabbed and my mouth was fucked.

Eventually that wasn’t enough for my assailant and I was pushed to the floor on my stomach. He was larger than me, and stronger, so it was useless to fight him. My underwear was pushed to the side as he slid into me. He didn’t waste his time as he began fucking me relentlessly. My face was pressed into the rough carpet and I could feel it chafing my arms and legs with each thrust into me. I groaned into the floor, arching my back and begging wordlessly. He bit my shoulder hard. And then he bit it again. The small noises just kept slipping from my lips.

His arm went under my neck as he fucked me and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I came hard, face pressed into the carpet. He didn’t slow. Long, hard, fast fucking. I could barely breath from the intensity of it. Suddenly he grabbed my hips as he tensed and came hard inside me. We laid there panting for a moment before he pulled out and reached up to turn on the light.

X smirked at me after leaning down for a quick kiss.

“I thought you’d enjoy that.”





Fight

21 02 2009

I learned the hard way that even if I set my mind to it, I can’t win with him.

It all started with a text message in stats. I told him I wanted him to be my slave that night. I wanted to cuff his hands to the bed and tease him until he begged. He seemed to like the idea. So when he took my hand and placed it on his semi hard cock later that night as we were watching a movie I already had in mind what I wanted to do to him. I slid my fingers down him, toying with him as I told him it was too bad that we were at his place and not mine.

“Why is that?” he asked me.

“Because all my toys are at home,” I straddled him and ground my hips against him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and when they opened again they were darker, betraying how aroused he was.

“Why do you need your toys?”

“Because I want to play with you,” I whispered seductively in his ear, “I want to cuff your hands to the bed and tease you until your cock is rock hard and you’re begging me to fuck you.” I nipped at his ear. “I want to drip lube between my tits and let you thrust up between them. I want to hear you beg.”

He groaned, “You’re so mean to me.”

“How so?” I smirked as I rolled my hips, “I mean, I could be meaner and tell you how if we were at my apartment and you were cuffed to the bed I’d lube your dick up and slide my ass slowly down on it. I’d fuck you with my tight ass, letting you get closer and closer to cumming but always stopping before you came until you begged me to let you shoot your hot cum deep in my ass. Poor silly X for not keeping lube at your apartment.”

I just smiled at him, feeling how hard he was between my legs. His hands that had been passively placed above his head moved to my hips, pulling me against him as he made sure I knew how turned on he was.

“No, no, no. Bad X,” I said as I grabbed at his arms and tried to push them back above his head. “I am in control tonight.”

“Like hell you are,” he returned as he evaded my grasp and flipped us over. He pinned me to the bed and began kissing my neck. I struggled against him until finally I realized I could pull my weight and I flipped us back over. I managed to get his arms pinned down for a moment. I looked down at him with a frown. He just grinned and with little effort flipped us over once more.

I struggled. This was not what I had planned. I was not feeling submissive that night. I was feeling controlling. And to have my control wretched from my grasp did not make Z a happy camper. I growled as I fought to free myself from him, but as I’ve mentioned X is deceptively strong. He’s 6′4 and I tend to forget that his size and strength are a hell of a lot more than mine. It only took a few minutes for him to get impatient and begin to pull at my pants. I squirmed this way and that, fighting to keep them on but he managed to pull them down to my knees.

Suddenly, my legs were pushed above my head and he was rubbing his cock against my soaking wet pussy. It felt so good but I was determined not to let him win. Before I could fight back he was inside me and I couldn’t move. My pants and his hands and the feeling of him inside me had me temporarily paralyzed. He managed to thrust a few times before I demanded that I wanted my pants off. I pulled them off quickly and threw them off the side of the bed. Before he had time to react my hands were against his chest, pushing him backwards. He barely budged.

He pulled at my ass and managed to get his cock inside me, I kept pushing though and finally he fell backwards onto the bed. I smirked down at him from my position on top.

“Look who’s in control now,” I said as I began to fuck him.

“The only reason you’re on top, babe, is because I let you be. You’re not the one in control,” I growled as he grabbed my hips and began to fuck me with earnest. Mentally I was cursing him because the bastard knows exactly what angle to fuck me at to turn me into a begging, pleading mess. I could feel an huge orgasm building.

“You are not allowed to squirt,” he ordered, reading the pleasure on my face.

“I can’t help it, please. Please let me squirt…”

His hands slid up to my rib cage, holding my body at the perfect angle and also making sure I couldn’t lift off his cock to squirt all over him. He knew it would be torture to me.

“If you squirt, I will never fuck you again.” I squeaked and closed my eyes, chest heaving as I kept myself from cumming. The pleasure was painful and I wasn’t sure I could take much more. He loosened his grip for a moment and I pulled off him and fell back onto the bed, glaring.

He was back on top of me in a second, pinning me down. He fucked me and with his elbows pinning my arms down pressed his fingers under my chin. My breathing was shallow and cut off as I began to feel an orgasm. It took me seconds to cum. And because he didn’t remove his fingers it took only another few seconds for me to cum again. Each orgasm was breaking down my resolve to fight.

“You want me to cum inside you, don’t you?” He said as he continued his relentless assault on my body. I nodded weakly, my hands gripping his body.

“I’m not going to, just because you want it.” He bit down hard on my shoulder and I groaned.

“Bite me again. Harder.” He complied and I gasped as I came again.

“See, what did I tell you. I’m in control,” he flipped me over and pressed my body into his mattress. My legs were pinned by his and his arms kept mine in check.

“You’re just a little cock slut,” he growled into my ear. “Give you a nice thick cock and you spread like butter. Don’t lie. You know you love being taken like this.” He was fucking me so hard that I could feel him hitting my cervix with each thrust, but I was so turned on that I didn’t care.

“You love being a whore. You’ll do anything for cock, which is why no matter how much you fight me, I still win. Isn’t that right my little cock slut?” I growled and began to fight again.

I failed. I managed to get myself turned around underneath him, but all he did was raise my legs over his shoulder. I almost cried out. That angle was too intense and he knew it. But he wouldn’t let me move. He bent me in half with my toes touching the wall behind my head as he fucked me. I’m not a terribly loud girl but it took all myself control to keep from screaming. I have a brusie on my hand from where I bit down so hard. I don’t remember how many times I came. I just remember intense pain-pleasure.

Somehow I found myself on top of him, but by this point, the fight was gone from me. He had won. I fucked him hard, wanting him to cum. He grabbed my hips as I rode him and slammed himself into me over and over again until his face and shoulders got red and he couldn’t speak. He came hard and I slammed my hips down against his, still riding him as he came. We laid like that for a moment and then I rolled off him.

While I had wanted to be in control that night, I wasn’t going to complain. I was sore only a few hours later and my thighs still ache a few days later. I think I need to fight for control more often. Though X better watch out. Had we been at my apartment, he would have been the one begging.





Need

18 02 2009

I love the moments when I need him so bad my body aches.

It’s a dull burning ache in the pit of my belly that I can’t relieve with my fingers or toys. It’s the kind of ache that makes me gasp and arch my body against his when he finally slides into me.

I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close to me as I can murmuring ‘faster’ and ‘harder’ amidst the moans that escape my lips. He slips his arms around behind my back and holds me close as his hips speed up. I’m losing coherency and clinging to him, the tips of my fingers pressing into skin. I begin to tense and our bodies are so intertwined at this point it’s hard for me to tell where I stop and he begins. I orgasm and things go a little fuzzy. He presses his lips to my forehead, our bodies still tangled up.

But he doesn’t let me rest long. His hips begin to move and we start all over again.





Stevie Hart [is awesome]

17 02 2009

And now for something a little bit different than my normal fare.

I felt like it would be fun to branch off a bit from my usual posts of toy reviews and my stories about my sex life and try something different. Using my awesome MySpace navigational skills I sent a few messages out to porn actresses who seemed cool enough to actually get back to me. The only one who did was Stevie Hart. And I’m really glad she’s the one who did because from what I can tell Stevie is a really cool, down to earth chick. So yeah, she was kind enough to just answer some questions for me about porn and working as an actress in a fairly controversial industry.

Check out Stevie’s answers to my questions below and check out her MySpace page here.

baby-sinead[Photo by Baby Sinead]

We’ll start with the typical question: What made you decide that you wanted to work in porn? When did you decide this?

It was something that was always kind of in the back of my mind. I’d never seen a LOT of porn but the idea of having sex, being an exhibitionist and a being bit of a show off as a job seemed too perfect, as these were all things I already enjoyed and were open minded about. It was a mater of waiting until I felt good enough about my self image, self worth and just said fuck it.

Does your family know? And if so how have they reacted?

The majority of them do know and of the ones that do, the relationships I had that I was concerned about it effecting are still amazing. My family has always been very liberal, supportive and realistic. Communication is something they respect, no matter the circumstances so it was never a “should I tell them”, it was a “when and how”.

Can you give me a description of what it’s like to work first hand in the sex industry? Does it live up to the bad name it’s garnered over the years?

It is not a big coked up orgy on set. It’s a job: our call times are often in the morning and our hours on set can often be the same duration as a normal 9-5 workday. A lot of the girls shoot almost every day of a work week, which is for the most part Monday – Friday. I have to say, it is FUN. I’ve had lots of good conversation and good sex on sets. Everything is what you make it, though.

How do you feel about being a woman in an industry that has gotten a reputation for not being very female-friendly at times?

I haven’t really seen that side of it, or maybe I’ve taken a blind eye to it and tried to see it in my own light. The first set I was ever on was with Eon McKai (Vivid Alt) and I remember him making a comment about how they crew is often at the mercy of that woman. I’ve never had male talent, or any one on set be rude to me or deny a request for anything that would make me more comfortable (breaks, water, etc). A lot of the companies I have seen and heard of treat the girls on set really well. I know a few that have a rep of treating us like “rockstars”. Flirting and getting hit on by crew can happen occasionally. But come on, look at what we do. We have the right to say no to anything at all that makes us uncomfortable.

What’s the biggest perk of being in the porn industry?

I get to do what I love doing and I’m not getting called a slut on a regular basis! I’ve met lots of great people, had lots of great sex and the paychecks don’t hurt either. Hahaha, I’m not a big party girl but I know most of the girls have no issue getting into clubs and such.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen or done on a shoot? What’s the most fun you’ve had on a shoot?

What’s strange to some people is not to others =)
I don’t really think things I’ve done or seen on set are all that strange…
When I was on Playboy Radio they had a sybian (sp?) which was all kinds of fun! I had an orgasm without taking off any clothes. I haven’t been on a shoot yet that hasn’t been fun… I’m feeling like tomorrows photo shoot with Lollypops/ Fox Magazine will be TONS as it’s all in my own house (which I’ve been going to town painting and decorating) and I’m styling the whole thing myself.

What made you decide to not do girl/girl porn and how has this been received in the industry?

I’m honestly not into girls. I can kick it and flirt with them sometimes. A few kisses have happened since I started doing porn, but it isn’t something I’ve really wanted to do more of. If Belladonna wanted to seduce and fuck me, I’d probably be down. I wouldn’t have much of a clue what to do to her, but I’d be down to try because its HER. =)
As far as its reception in the industry goes I think it’s been good. People seem to appreciate that I’m being real about it. This is fun for me. If I have to fake it for a paycheck this is the wrong career. Do what you love, love what you do. Some of the girls have seemed disappointed after I’ve told them, which is flattering!


And as a side note, because I’m curious myself, are you happy being in porn? I’ve thought it would be interesting but I worry about the repercussions of working in porn on the rest of my life. Any advice with that?

I wouldn’t do this if it didn’t make me happy. You live once. Enjoy it =)
The repercussions will work themselves out. Have a life outside of it. Don’t forget whatever it is you enjoy and are good at other than fucking and sucking. People have become more and more open minded about sex as generations have come and gone. When I stop being in front of the camera there is a lot I still have to accomplish in my life and I’m going to get them all done.





Stress

16 02 2009

I haven’t been writing much because I’ve been stressed out.

To make a long, long story short X has been dealing with some girlfriend problems. And he’s been in a terrible mood because of it. And I don’t know. It’s this whole big mess of her lying to him and not being able to give him proof of something. And well, to be honest, I’m getting really fucking sick of it.

As most of you probably know, I hate X’s girlfriend. He doesn’t quite understand this despite multiple attempts to explain. I’ve always hated people who hurt my friends, it’s just how I am. And well, she cheated on him last Spring Break. She called him up and told him she met this guy the past night and he reminded her of him, was as big as him, and was as good in bed if not better than him. And she planned on fucking him again the next night. X managed to talk her out of doing that. Apparently she was mad at him and so she slept with this guy. I was livid because X was crushed and hurt and I’d never seen him so sad. That’s when I started hating her. He took her back and acted like everything was peachy keen.

Now she’s been lying to him about this existence of this girl. She showed up to his place a couple months back with a hickey on her neck that she claimed was from some girl in her English class that she had fooled around with. X was annoyed she’d fooled around without talking to him but didn’t worry about it. Knowing him, the idea probably just turned him on. (Which I found odd. Because if she’s apparently bisexual, isn’t hooking up with a girl even more an instance of cheating than if it was a straight girl?) Well, he brings the girl back up a couple weeks ago and she can’t remember her name. And she claims she met her somewhere else.

X asked some people and no one knew this girl that his girlfriend had apparently hooked up with. So, the middle of last week he finally grows some balls and tells her ‘Prove to me this girl exists or I leave you.’

I was elated. Finally he was breaking free from the chains he had her in enough that he could call her on her super fishy story. Well, apparently the girlfriend doesn’t talk to the girl anymore so she said she couldn’t find her. Then X pressured her some more and suddenly the girl doesn’t go to the girlfriend’s University anymore. Huh what?? People at her school ‘knew of her’ but no one could find her number. Isn’t that a little odd for a campus of 1000 or so people? I mean, I’d have troubling finding someone’s number if they left but that’s because there’s like 15,000 to 20,000 people here. 1000 is like the size of my old high school.

Well, X believes that the girl exists. Or at least he wants to. And he’s going to ‘help his girlfriend find her.’ What bothers me is how long is he going to put up with this? He says he’s going to keep pushing her until a) she finds the girl (which i don’t think will happen) b) she admits she’s lying or c) he gets proof she’s lying. Okay X, how long are you going to let this continue? She’s had roughly 5 days to find this girl and there’s been nothing.

X snapped at me yesterday because I got mad at him. He yelled at me and told me that I don’t see the good in the relationship, only the bad. And that I’m extremely biased (something I try not to be). He tells me he has no proof of anything, only circumstantial evidence.And that I have no right to tell him what to do in a relationship because I’ve never seen a good one, let alone even been in one.

I just get so angry because there’s a way relationships should work and he and his girlfriend are not an example of that. I may not have experience in relationships as he so assholishly pointed out, but I know people. And I know how things are. It’s a gut feeling based on logic and commonsense. Relationships are not about preventing each other from doing things because you’re three hours away. Or being totally controlled by one party.

What scares me the most is that X can’t see himself. I want to take a video recorder sometime and video tape what he looks and sounds like when he answers the phone with her. I want to play it back to him and make him see what a pussy he is with her. From what V has mentioned in passing (no getting pissed at me, X. V mentioned this of his own free will. I did nothing to prompt this) X is whipped to the EXTREME when he’s around her. And I can tell just by how he talks to her. His voice drops down to a babyish tone reserved for idiots and he sounds like a complete slave begging to lick his girlfriend’s shit covered boots. That is no lie. He’s said that it’s normal that he does that. No, it’s not. You should never have to act like you’re lower than your SO.

I don’t know, but maybe I’m just totally off base about relationships.

In my humble, inexperienced and thus obviously totally invalid opinion, relationships aren’t just about love. I learned that from my own parents. My mom and dad loved each other dearly, but they were terrible for each other and had my dad lived they would have gotten a divorce. They just didn’t work.

Relationships should be about trust. You need to be able to not worry about your SO going off and doing something that hurts you or that you don’t approve of.

Relationships should be about honesty. In my opinion you need to be able to be as close to 100% honest with your SO, a relationship built on and fed with lies is one that’s not very strong and not very stable. And any kind of lie is bad. Little white lies eat at it like acid. While big lies are like time bombs.

In my stupid, idiotic opinion your SO should be your best friend. The one person you can tell anything and everything, who accepts you for who you are.

That’s not to say that relationships that don’t fit these ideas can’t work, it’s just that they’re unstable and unhealthy.

I just worry my ass off about X because as much as he claims his girlfriend makes him happy, I don’t think their relationship is healthy. And honestly, I don’t think she’s telling the truth. I don’t think that girl exists.

And don’t anyone try to tell me that I just want them to break up because I want to be with X. I stopped thinking about myself in this whole stupid situation a long time ago. And regardless, X has made it clear he would never want to date me, so I know nothing would really change. I just want him to be happy. And I think he’d be surprised at how much happier he’d end up being if he was single.

Sigh………





Friends with Blogs! Yay!

15 02 2009

SO. It has come to my attention that my lovely former roommate has a blog.

It’s not quite as risque as mine but the girl just lost her virginity last weekend so I’m sure fun stories will be coming soon. Plus, this is the girl who I kinda have a history of making out with while drunk. I can attest to the fact that she’s a lot of fun. Not quite as open or kinky as me, but she’s up there!

Go give her some love!! She’s new and I’m sure would love the attention!

Queen of Attention to Detail





A Girl Can’t Have Too Many Lacy Things

6 02 2009

Lingerie love, like real love, lasts longer than Valentine’s Day — after all, there are 364 other days (and nights) of the year, and you shouldn’t be without sexy lingerie for any of them.

Guess who would like to help you with that?

Why it’s little ol’ Slip of a Girl, of course — with the help of Flirty Lingerie.

Together they’re celebrating the spirit of Valentine’s Day with a contest — which will deliver the winner the goods after the holiday, so that you can keep the love and lust alive well past the holiday.

What can you win? A $200 shopping spree to Flirty Lingerie!


Oh God would I have fun if I won that.

flirtylingerie_2039_923631460To begin I’d die to have this sexy little camisole set. I don’t have any pajamas that are cute like this while still being sexy. I sleep in sweat pants and t-shirts. I think I need to update a bit.

flirtylingerie_2039_32687342

You can’t leave out a fun costume! X has a little bit of a nurse fetish and I just haven’t had the money to indulge him. This nurse costume was actually almost my Halloween Costume this year. Maybe this could be next years….;)

flirtylingerie_2039_1547764776

A girl can never have enough  clubbing tops and this strappy little piece would be a great addition to my wardrobe!

If you’re interested in this great contest go check out A Slip of a Girl for more details!





Sextoy.com: Deep Throat Oral Desensitizer

6 02 2009

dt04

I don’t like giving bad reviews. I really don’t.

I’d much rather test a sex toy and be able to go on and on about how great it is and how every woman should have one. But sometimes a product just doesn’t wow, and instead and it kind of flops.

This deepthroat spray did just that. I requested it because I figured I should try out something from the Lotion & Lubes category and because I have problems deep-throating X and I wanted to see if this stuff would work. Well, it doesn’t. At least not for me. I’m pretty good at being able to repress and control my gag-reflex but this didn’t help at all. X and I came to the conclusion that he’s too thick and it’s not about numbing my gag reflex so much as it’s about actually stretching my throat.

But that wasn’t the biggest problem I had with this product. I actually had a lot of problems with this product.

  1. It tastes fucking NASTY. I can usually stand most icky flavors but this is just gross. It’s akin to the worst tasting cough syrup you’ve ever tasted in your life. It tastes like the cough syrup Satan uses to torture people in hell with. It honestly is that disgusting. The label says ‘Passionfruit’ but it’s more like ‘Hellfire.’ BLEH.
  2. The spray’s active ingredient is Benzocaine, a chemical found in all sorts of over the counter anesthetic ointments. Reading up on the FDA website there are all sorts of complications that can occur from abuse of this product. There’s even a Public Health Advisory for Oral Sprays. Abuse can lead to dangerous levels of methemoglobinemia. Which is BAD. Is there any mention of this dangerous condition on the bottle? No. Anything on the bottle about contacting poison control if too much is consumed? No. They just tell you to only use 4 times a day and no more than every two hours….or as directed by a doctor. Hmm what? Wait…..Doctors can prescribe Deep Throat Spray? Interesting…..
  3. The label looks homemade. When it comes to medical grade chemicals, I’d rather them not look like the label was printed in my basement.
  4. The website they list on the side? Doesn’t work. Search Stardust Industries? No website. I’m not a fan of that either.
  5. Waiting the recommended ten minutes after application to go down on X let the stuff wear off. Using it after roughly 5 minutes made X’s member go a bit numb shortly after. Not good. Haha.
  6. Did I mention that it tastes NASTY?

In the end. I DO NOT recommend this product. There are far better, far safer sex toys out there. I give it a 2 out of 10.

[As a side note. This review doesn't mean the numbing won't work to suppress the gag-reflex for some. I just don't like this product as a whole.]sextoysexycouple575x75





Sleeping Around

6 02 2009

[Big Ass Edit: Since writing this post it has come out that the reason X's sex drive has been non-existent is simply because the last time we had sex he hurt his penis. We were being pretty rough and he slipped out and bent the wrong way a bit. Today we went to the Health Center so he could see a Doctor and it turns out he's severely bruised. The Doctor told him to avoid erections for roughly two weeks to let things heal up. So, while this doesn't change that I was pissed when I wrote this, it does put it in perspective a bit.]

I’ve had sex roughly twice in the past almost 2 weeks.

X has been having a rough few week, or so he tells me, and he hasn’t been to interested in sex. Okay. Fine. I won’t complain. I might bring it up, ask or beg once or twice. But I’m good about letting it lie. Got mad at him tonight though because of his shitty attitude this week, which I can’t fault him for, but it still hurt me and annoyed me. Oops? I’m human. Get over it.

I didn’t mention the sex thing. At all. Until I made my point and explained to him how he’d been a jackass. After all that, I mentioned the sex thing. How I wasn’t complaining but that I’ve been hella horny and he’s been totally not interested and how it sucked.

He told me to find someone and get laid.

And you know what? I’m FUCKING SICK of hearing that. I’m FUCKING SICK of him telling me to ‘go find someone to fuck’ or to ‘not bitch because I won’t go out and find someone else to fuck’ that’s not him.

I DON’T FUCKING HAVE TIME. I have 19 hours of classes this semester, shit tons of reading and friends to hang out with. Finding another guy is next to impossible. Plus, I’ve never, ever been the type to actively look for men. I don’t see the point. I’ll talk to people but I don’t go out with the mission of finding someone to bring home and fuck. I go out with the mission of getting trashed and having fun with my friends.

Also, maybe, just maybe, I’m not a total utter nymphomaniac. I like sex. I like sex alot. I don’t like sex so much that I’ll go out and sleep with random people. I did the one night stand thing once. And when I’m drunk, one night things are fun. But sober? No thanks. I’m attracted to guys on mental and physical levels and well, if I’m sober I like fucking a guy that has a good brain too. It’s a little more fucking complicated that just throwing myself out at the bars with my legs spread asking for someone to fuck me. I have more respect for myself than that.

And I guess, when he tells me to go find someone else to fuck. Or how easy it would be to find a guy to take home, I get offended. I feel like he’s implying that I’m some loose whore with an out of control sex drive that will fuck anything with a pulse.

Yes. I have a VERY, EXTREMELY high sex drive. Yes. I’m kinky and dirty and perverted. That DOES NOT MEAN I don’t have standards and that I’m not damn picky about the guys I hook up with more than once.

Maybe I’m taking this out of proportion. If so, I’m sorry.¬† But I don’t feel like I am. I feel like I’m justified in being annoyed. I feel like that all this shit has built up the past two weeks and him telling me to go out and get laid just was the straw that broke it.

(Though I will add that I feel bad because X has seemed to be having a bad week. But I can’t help it. Sorry.)