Sleeping Around

6 02 2009

[Big Ass Edit: Since writing this post it has come out that the reason X's sex drive has been non-existent is simply because the last time we had sex he hurt his penis. We were being pretty rough and he slipped out and bent the wrong way a bit. Today we went to the Health Center so he could see a Doctor and it turns out he's severely bruised. The Doctor told him to avoid erections for roughly two weeks to let things heal up. So, while this doesn't change that I was pissed when I wrote this, it does put it in perspective a bit.]

I’ve had sex roughly twice in the past almost 2 weeks.

X has been having a rough few week, or so he tells me, and he hasn’t been to interested in sex. Okay. Fine. I won’t complain. I might bring it up, ask or beg once or twice. But I’m good about letting it lie. Got mad at him tonight though because of his shitty attitude this week, which I can’t fault him for, but it still hurt me and annoyed me. Oops? I’m human. Get over it.

I didn’t mention the sex thing. At all. Until I made my point and explained to him how he’d been a jackass. After all that, I mentioned the sex thing. How I wasn’t complaining but that I’ve been hella horny and he’s been totally not interested and how it sucked.

He told me to find someone and get laid.

And you know what? I’m FUCKING SICK of hearing that. I’m FUCKING SICK of him telling me to ‘go find someone to fuck’ or to ‘not bitch because I won’t go out and find someone else to fuck’ that’s not him.

I DON’T FUCKING HAVE TIME. I have 19 hours of classes this semester, shit tons of reading and friends to hang out with. Finding another guy is next to impossible. Plus, I’ve never, ever been the type to actively look for men. I don’t see the point. I’ll talk to people but I don’t go out with the mission of finding someone to bring home and fuck. I go out with the mission of getting trashed and having fun with my friends.

Also, maybe, just maybe, I’m not a total utter nymphomaniac. I like sex. I like sex alot. I don’t like sex so much that I’ll go out and sleep with random people. I did the one night stand thing once. And when I’m drunk, one night things are fun. But sober? No thanks. I’m attracted to guys on mental and physical levels and well, if I’m sober I like fucking a guy that has a good brain too. It’s a little more fucking complicated that just throwing myself out at the bars with my legs spread asking for someone to fuck me. I have more respect for myself than that.

And I guess, when he tells me to go find someone else to fuck. Or how easy it would be to find a guy to take home, I get offended. I feel like he’s implying that I’m some loose whore with an out of control sex drive that will fuck anything with a pulse.

Yes. I have a VERY, EXTREMELY high sex drive. Yes. I’m kinky and dirty and perverted. That DOES NOT MEAN I don’t have standards and that I’m not damn picky about the guys I hook up with more than once.

Maybe I’m taking this out of proportion. If so, I’m sorry.  But I don’t feel like I am. I feel like I’m justified in being annoyed. I feel like that all this shit has built up the past two weeks and him telling me to go out and get laid just was the straw that broke it.

(Though I will add that I feel bad because X has seemed to be having a bad week. But I can’t help it. Sorry.)


Actions

Information

4 responses to “Sleeping Around”

6 02 2009
cs

What about V? Won’t he do as an alternative?

There’s a post coming on that soon. I’m honestly not sure what to do about V….

<3
Z

6 02 2009
lawrence

I read this twice. Sounds to me like X is being disrespectful to you. Not by not putting out (that’s a separate issue; he could (a) fuck you even though he’s not really in the mood (b) go down on you/ finger fuck you/ whatever you (c) watch you masturbate (d) tell you he’s really sorry but he’s not feeling at all sexy right now) It’s more the “I’m not feeling sexy so you should go find some other guy to fuck” thing that seems wrong. He wouldn’t say that if he were your boyfriend (I think). Seems to me, if Mr. X is going to be getting the ‘best of both worlds’ fuck-buddy treatment, he’d better put out.

Meh. A lot of what we say to each other sounds disrespectful but in the context of our relationship it’s not. Esp since I now know he’s hurt and he’s been in pain this week (something he DID NOT mention to me which could have prevented this fight) I can’t really be mad at him about this. Though honestly, to your point about him not saying that if he was my boyfriend? I kinda think he might say that if we were actually together too. Lol.

You have to understand, this is my blog. My rants are written in anger when I need to vent. I usually cool off a few hours later and see reason again.

<3
Z

6 02 2009
Claire

I think he would say that if he was your boyfriend, that’s probably not an accurate comment above, but whatever.

He may have just meant that you can either sit around waiting/complaining, or can go find someone. Assuming he doesn’t and won’t feel like having sex. Because he’s human and people don’t sometimes, obviously. I wasn’t there etc etc, but it doesn’t sound like he meant “oh hey go find someone random slut-features.” But there isn’t really another (realistic or unrealistic) solution if he doesn’t feel like sex, whether he meant it flippantly or not.

Hope this doesn’t come across as snobby.

Does lack of sex make you that cranky? :p mmm dildos, oui

Oh, I know he’s not trying to imply what I thought he he was. I was just stating that at times that’s what he makes me feel like he’s implying. And I know going out and finding someone else to sleep with is something I should do. It;s just at times he says it so flippantly that it angers me.

And it doesn’t come across as snobby at all. I’ve had FAR worse comments on this blog.

And yes. Lack of sex does make me cranky. ::pout:: And it looks like I
ll be playing with my toys a lot the next few weeks. :(

<3
Z

10 02 2009
Wilhelmina

:|

Yes, you can be slutty without being… slutty. It bothers me when people can’t understand that, especially people close to me.

It would also bother me if someone I was sleeping with consistently told me to go fuck someone else without seeming to care :|

Glad stuff is resolved now though :)

Leave a comment

You can use these tags : <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>