Belt/Bondage Cuffs

29 03 2009


[Click] and the lovely Domina have sent me one of the most useful sex toys to date.

This is a belt. And a really nice one at that. I got the small size and as you can see it fits nearly perfectly. (I’m a size 6ish so you can prolly estimate what size you’d need from that.) It functions as a belt should function and keeps my jeans from sliding down off my flat ass. Just ask X or look in the picture above: No. Ass. X actually hurt his hand while spanking me the other day because my ass is so boney. But that’s a story for another day.

The belt is innocuous enough that I was able to wear it around campus, to class and ever around my family without anyone suspecting it was from the BDSM and fetish section of a sex toy website. It’s nice leather too. My only real problem was that the metal squares you see in the photo are a bit tough to fit through the belt loops of my jeans. It takes some maneuvering to pull it off. But it is possible.

Now using the belt as cuffs? Really easy. You just place hands accordingly, thread the leather over and through the loop, back through the next and you secure it with the buckle. Click on the photo above to see how it looks when used as cuffs.

I have no complaints in the least about this belt/cuffs thing. It’s damn convenient to have a wearable set of cuffs for any situation you might find yourself in. And no one, except perhaps a fellow pervert, would really assume the naughty uses for such a simple belt.

Overall, this gets a 10/10 in my book because it’s seriously very nearly perfect.

Quarter Life Crisis?

26 03 2009

Today has been the day of reminding Z of how she is alone.

To begin, I found the girl who used to babysit my younger brother and drive me around on Facebook today. I haven’t talked to her in roughly 3 or 4 years. What happened was, I got my driver’s liensce and she finished massothearpy school. My mom didn’t need her anymore and she got a job in Pittsburgh and moved away. I didn’t really ever hear from her again.

Well, checking out her Facebook page, she’s married now and has a gorgeous almost one year old daughter. I was thrown for a loop. She graduated highschool the year before I got there. She left in ‘03 and I left in ‘07. She was never really my babysitter, but more my close friend. We listened to music and watched Ellen DeGeneres and rented movies and just hung out. I went to her with my boy problems. And I honestly blame her with making me a little bit cooler than my dorky self in highschool. We’d stop by her house so I could play with her cats and talk to her mom. My freshman year, when my one friend had the first annual ‘Fake Prom’ (we were too young to attend the real Prom, so we made our own.) she let me try on all her old dresses and let me borrow this shiny pink one I loved and still associate with a certain boy who I was infatuated with at the time.

She has a kid. And she’s married. And has a life. It weirds me out. I’m getting older. And it scares me. Yeah, she’s older than me, but she was my peer, my friend. And it’s an odd feeling to know that a formerly close friend is now married.

And then this evening I found out a girl who I’ll call Verity and her boyfriend Jake just got engaged. I was honestly thrown for a loop. Verity graduated with me. She was actually semi-a part of my group of friends through out highschool. I was never close with her because she never ‘approved of me.’ If I wanted to hang out with her back in Middle School I had to ’stop being so annoying and hyper.’ This was relayed to me by my best friend at the time. (She is no longer such. And hasn’t been for a while.) I told her politely to tell Verity to fuck off. Obviously I said this in more middle school terms but still, this was one of my first instances of a backbone. (Even if I ran to my room and cried about it after.)

So obviously, I never really liked Verity. So the end of my junior year, I developed a crush on a boy who frequented the art room about the same time I did. I knew him through some older friends of mine, and despite only having a few conversations with him, I liked him quite a bit. And I was going to ask him to prom. I just needed to find the right moment. Well, I never did. Verity ended up asking him a few days after I set my mind to it. And well, they’ve dated ever since.

This past weekend he proposed.

It makes me feel really weird inside. A friend and a former crush getting engaged…..odd. And it makes me feel like I’m emotionally or romantically retarded. I’ve NEVER had a boyfriend and yet friends are getting engaged or having children. And while my education and future career are really important to me, part of me wants what they have. Really badly.

Ever since my dad died, I haven’t felt like I’ve belonged in my family, or among my friends, or just in general. It’s an odd disconnect. Like a gap I can’t jump. Everyone is on one side and I’m stranded on the other. I think it’s why I feel like I’m experiencing things while inside a glass box. It usually only happens in large groups of people. But still.

Feeling so alone sometimes makes me want what they have. Since my family right now doesn’t really fulfill my needs in the love department, I want my own. I want someone who loves me unconditionally. And I want to love someone back as such. I don’t want to have to control feelings. I don’t want to settle for someone just to have someone. And I’m not going to date just to date. Is it wrong that at this point in my life, despite never having a boyfriend, I really only want to date someone if there is a chance of it lasting? I don’t want to date people just to have it last a few months. Perhaps that’s why I lost interest in V so quickly. He and I weren’t really compatible.

I don’t know. I guess I just am having a bit of a quarter life crisis? I turn twenty in two weeks. (From yesterday, actually.) And I finish my fourth semester of college in six. I’m half way done with college and a little less than a third of the way done with my schooling in general. I probably got an internship with a congressman for this summer.

I’m scared. I’m not gonna lie.  I’m terrified. I’m not going to be a teenager anymore. It feels odd.

And I guess I’m just ready to be happy. To have things work out for me. And to try to cut some bad habits of mine. Mostly, I just want to be happy. But when I look at people like my old friend and Verity and Jake, I feel a little empty. And I don’t like it.


24 03 2009

I dunno how often I’m going to posting for the next week. Or two. Or who knows.

Sorry. I have a lot of thinking I need to do in regards to X. A lot of thinking I don’t want to have to do but the introduction of him and a friend of mine acted as a catalyst for a lot of issues I’ve been keeping buried. And I can’t lie, I regret introducing them.

I’m currently trying to decide if friend-status is enough for me. And if I can even continue to stay friends with him.

So yeah. Basically. I have no fucking clue what to do right now. And I can’t stop crying. Because I don’t know what to do. I missed a fucking quiz today because I couldn’t compose myself enough to get there. And my eyes and my head and my brain hurts from crying. And I don’t know what to do anymore. And I don’t know what he wants me to do. And I wanna curl in a ball and never wake up.

[EDIT: And yeah. I is a drama queen sometimes? I was honestly feeling this way yesterday. But things have been talked and yelled about. And I think everything is okay right now. Still out to lunch on opinions of the above mentioned friend, but X and I are good. I'm pretty sure.] Lelo Mia

22 03 2009

lelo270985-500-4Thanks to I got my second Lelo toy!

I reviewed the Lelo Ella a little while back but that was not a vibrator. So this will be the first Lelo vibrator I’ve reviewed. I’ve only heard good things about them and honestly,they really do live up to their good reputation. The packaging is gorgeous as always. And it serves itself well to store it in.

The thing that draws me most to the Lelo Mia is it’s size. It is the PERFECT purse vibrator. It’s only about the size of a medium tube of lipstick or mascara. And at first glance it looks far more like makeup than a dirty little sex toy. I’ve left it out in my room. It’s sat on my night stand or on my windowsill while people have come and gone and hung out. No one has mentioned it. It just doesn’t look like a sex toy.

Another thing I love? It charges by USB! Squee! It makes my inner nerd dance around to know that I can charge my vibrator from my computer.

Once this little thing is charged though? Wow… packs a punch…..And it’s quiet too. Even on the loudest setting the buzz is no louder than a medium volume phone on vibration. It has roughly 12 levels of vibration, from ‘barely tickling’ to ‘omgdontstop’. It also has three different oscillating settings: Extended interval pulsation, intermediate interval pulsation and short interval pulsation. Or as I like to consider them: ‘Stop teasing me,’ ‘Oh yes, right there!’ and ‘OmgI’mcumming.’

I highly, highly suggest this toy for people looking for a discreet vibrator with a punch. It gets a 10/10 in my book as it has no flaws. (And it doesn’t hurt that has AMAZING prices on Lelo toys. Go check it out.)

HNT 2.02: Restrained

19 03 2009


I do love to be handcuffed……

This was from mine and X’s latest photoshoot. I thought it’d be nice to post a photo for once.


18 03 2009

“When we stop sleeping together, you are going to be so spoiled.”

X told me this the other day. And in all honesty it’s true. As first lovers go, X has been terrible for me if only because he’s been so good. Most girls go through fumbling and average sex and awkward sex. At least that’s how it’s been for my friends. I just got good sex right from the getgo. Yeah, the first handful of times we fucked it hurt and it wasn’t very good. And it did take me a little while to catch on to how things worked but the sex was never bad. This summer was the turning point, where the sex began to constantly get to the ‘amazing’ bracket on a more than regular basis.

Now, I don’t think X is some super sex god in bed (sorry hun, it’s true) but I think he’s exactly what I need. We fit together just right. And he knows exactly how to get me to melt.

I’m going to be spoiled because X knows just how far to take things. He knows how I like to be fucked. He knows when to bite and where. And what to whisper in my ear to get me hot. He knows just the spots to touch to make me crazy. And just how much force to use with me.

He’s not perfect by any means. But he’s close. And it does not hurt that he’s got a nice, long, thick cock (which I do think is perfect, but that’s a post for another day).

He doesn’t spank me as often as I would like. Because during sex, the feeling of a bright red, stinging mark forming on my ass makes me squirm. I also don’t think he realizes how rough he can really get with me. He could toss me around and hurt me a bit more than he does and I’d like it. He rarely goes down on me and maybe if he did, he’d improve a bit. Despite us both loving the rough sex, softer sex wouldn’t be so bad a little more often.

So, as I stated, he’s not perfect. But I am spoiled. Super spoiled. Where else will I find a guy so willing to experiment with me? Where else will I find a guy as open to anything I can think up?

Spoiled. Spoiled. Spoiled.

I kind of like being spoiled. But he’s right. It will be a bitch once he’s gone.

Love Guru?

12 03 2009

Can I get a big ‘What the Fuck’ please?

I don’t know why this has happened but all of a sudden people are coming to me for relationship and sex advice. X asks me my opinion on things pertaining to his girlfriend (though with him a good portion of the advice isn’t asked for, it’s just given because he tells me what’s going on with her.) H is texting me tonight with problems with his girlfriend asking me what I think. Jacy comes to me to bitch about her sorta-boyfriend and other boy interests. My cousin asks me about sex and sex toys and guys even though I’m younger by two years. BFJ talks to me for advice when her boyfriend broke up with her. The grad assistant for the debate team asks me about what porn star came and spoke at our campus last year. And various other people who I can’t think of off the top of my head ask me for sex advice.

I don’t know where I signed up for this. I’m technically the most unqualified person for the job. I’ve never had a boyfriend or been in a serious relationship. The first time I did anything more than a few kisses was a year and a half ago. I’ve only slept with a grand total of two guys and fooled around with just a handful more. Most people would consider me inexperienced.

But I stopped and thought it over. Despite all that, I really do know what I’m talking about. I can read people. Watching an episode of Bones today made me realize that I’m like Booth (sorry for the silly tv reference). I just have an uncanny knack for reading people. It’s not something I’ve been taught or that I learned. I’ve always been able to read the moods of the people around me and act according to that in order to maximize my happiness. I can just tell by looking at people how they’re feeling or how they feel towards someone else. I don’t know. It’s something I just do without thinking most of the time.

Also, I’m logical. I know how people act. I know what base things drive them. I just get how people think. And by using logic  combined with being good at reading people, well, it’s not hard to dispense advice based on that.

I tend to be honest to the point of being brutal. I do not sugar coat things for people. I tell them what my opinion is and well, not to sound conceited, but I’m usually at least partially right. I’ve called whether or not my high school friend’s relationships would last past certain points. I was always right.

As for the sex advice? Okay. Not gonna lie, totally understand why people come to me for advice. I’m a very sexually open person. Simple as that.

I don’t know. It’s just an odd feeling dispensing advice and people listening and agreeing. It’s powerful but it’s scary. I worry I’m going to give the wrong advice and something bad will happen. I don’t know. The fact that people come to me is something I probably won’t ever understand.

Piercings and Other Updates

10 03 2009
  • Today I got both my nipples pierced along with a vertical clitoral hood piercing. I currently love all three. The nipples were a quick, dull pain that slowly ached and stabbed for a few hours and then shortly after cleanings. The clit? I did not expect it to hurt so much. It was a fast, sharp, electric bolt. I jumped a bit, arched my hips and cursed involentarily, my knuckles going white from gripping the table. But as soon as the pain faded seconds later, that was it. It hasn’t hurt since. But it feels damn good. No instant orgasms from walking, but still. I like it. I spent a lot of money to get them done, but it was worth it because the place was really clean, everything was sterile and the woman who did it was really good, really professional and really nice.
  • X and his gf broke up. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe? I dunno. To me it seems more like they’re on a break. I feel terrible because I know he’s hurting but at the same time I think this is really good for him. Sadly,I fully expect him and her to be back together within a week. I don’t think he has the balls to end things with her, especially if she cries and says she wants him back.
  • At home for spring break. Kinda bored. Kinda not. It’s nice though.
  • Nothing else too exciting either. Oh. I’m on MySpace. But that’s it. Nothing else too eventful. Lelo Ella

3 03 2009

lelo ella

This is my very first reveiw for and my very first Lelo toy!

I have to admit, I’d heard SO much about Lelo toys from all my fellow bloggers that when I was told I would be getting to review the Lelo Ella I couldn’t help but get excited. Once the package finally got here I was really impressed by sleek packaging. I love the black box that the Ella came in as it’s quite useful for storage. I have a bit of a problem because I just use a plastic drawer under my bed for all my toys so there’s not a really good way to keep them all separated. The box solves that problem. Even if lube spilled in my toy drawer, I’m pretty confident the box would protect my lovely Ella.

But enough about the packaging and on to the toy. I have to give it to Lelo, they make incredibly sleek sex toys. The Ella is honestly a bit smaller than I like in green sex toys (I blame X for spoiling me….) but just looking at it, I had a feeling that it’s shape would make up for it. The best way I can think of to describe it is that it has an almost pestle-like head. It’s very wide and flat on the top and then it tapers down until it begins to get bigger again. I’ve only just the wide, flat end simply because I prefer G-spot stimulation over just normal penetration.The ergonomics are nice because the curved shape of it makes it a bit easier to maneuver. I’ve had problems in the past getting toys in the right spot and keeping it there.

I do, how ever have a few problems with the Ella. For one, while it is made of medical-grade sillicone, once it got lubed up it was hard to hold on to. (When it’s not lubed, it does have good traction) Second, it’s just not thick enough for me. I like the feeling of being filled. And while the Ella more than does it’s job when getting off, it just doesn’t stand out to me.

Overall, this is a great toy, don’t get me wrong. I give the Lelo Ella a 8 out of 10 for it’s superior matierals, thoughtful design, gorgeous packaging and just overall niceness. But I’ve turned into a bit of a picky person when it comes to toys, so this just didn’t do it completely for me. That doesn’t mean it can’t be amazing for another woman. For now, it’s towards the top of my drawer, at least until something else comes along to knock it down.


2 03 2009

Girls are so much softer than guys.

Before this past weekend I simply assumed this seeing as I had only drunkenly kissed a few girls. There had been little body contact, mostly just a quick meshing of lips.

With a spur of the moment suggestion from me, a friend of mine and myself headed over to V’s place to fool around. The rule was that nothing was gonna go on below the waist for the girls because we didn’t want to take things too far that night. I’m not even going to go into how V was because it can be summed up in about two words: boring and anticlimactic. Sure, there was a thrill watching my friend kiss my bootycall for the first time. And it sure as hell was hot to watch her go down on him. And I liked the whole sucking cock at the same time thing. But as you can see, he didn’t really do much. And thus, I was far more interested in playing with my friend. We’ll call her Q. I know her through my old roommate.

But I got a bit off topic there.

Girls are so damn soft compared to guys. Lips, skin, hair, everything. Softer.

Kissing Q was different from kissing X or V or any other guy I’ve kissed before. And it was different from drunken kisses. It was deliberate and slow. Her mouth was smaller than mine and her lips soft. Once we would start kissing we would just keep going. Hands would roam across bare backs and clothed asses. Feeling another curved body against mine was different from the harder angle’s of  a man’s.

Hips. Ass. Breasts. All soft.

Even the noises she made when my mouth covered her nipple, biting and teasing, were soft. Her lips down my neck tickled pleasantly. And when she took her turn with my nipples, it was gentle and teasing.The pulling of my hair was not soft or gentle however and I liked that.

It was also a different sensation to be bigger than someone. At 5′10 I tower above the average female and even a fair percentage of the average male. While we stood up, I had to lean down to kiss Q. This was new to me as the past few men I’ve kissed have all had to lean down a little to kiss me.

I’m now pretty damn sure I’m bisexual, no ifs, ands or buts about it. I wasn’t keen to consider myself bi with just a few drunken kisses under my belt. I won’t be fully comfortable labeling my sexuality until I’ve done more than just some topless fooling around. But yeah. Girl are really soft and I really like that.