Can I get a big ‘What the Fuck’ please?
I don’t know why this has happened but all of a sudden people are coming to me for relationship and sex advice. X asks me my opinion on things pertaining to his girlfriend (though with him a good portion of the advice isn’t asked for, it’s just given because he tells me what’s going on with her.) H is texting me tonight with problems with his girlfriend asking me what I think. Jacy comes to me to bitch about her sorta-boyfriend and other boy interests. My cousin asks me about sex and sex toys and guys even though I’m younger by two years. BFJ talks to me for advice when her boyfriend broke up with her. The grad assistant for the debate team asks me about what porn star came and spoke at our campus last year. And various other people who I can’t think of off the top of my head ask me for sex advice.
I don’t know where I signed up for this. I’m technically the most unqualified person for the job. I’ve never had a boyfriend or been in a serious relationship. The first time I did anything more than a few kisses was a year and a half ago. I’ve only slept with a grand total of two guys and fooled around with just a handful more. Most people would consider me inexperienced.
But I stopped and thought it over. Despite all that, I really do know what I’m talking about. I can read people. Watching an episode of Bones today made me realize that I’m like Booth (sorry for the silly tv reference). I just have an uncanny knack for reading people. It’s not something I’ve been taught or that I learned. I’ve always been able to read the moods of the people around me and act according to that in order to maximize my happiness. I can just tell by looking at people how they’re feeling or how they feel towards someone else. I don’t know. It’s something I just do without thinking most of the time.
Also, I’m logical. I know how people act. I know what base things drive them. I just get how people think. And by using logic combined with being good at reading people, well, it’s not hard to dispense advice based on that.
I tend to be honest to the point of being brutal. I do not sugar coat things for people. I tell them what my opinion is and well, not to sound conceited, but I’m usually at least partially right. I’ve called whether or not my high school friend’s relationships would last past certain points. I was always right.
As for the sex advice? Okay. Not gonna lie, totally understand why people come to me for advice. I’m a very sexually open person. Simple as that.
I don’t know. It’s just an odd feeling dispensing advice and people listening and agreeing. It’s powerful but it’s scary. I worry I’m going to give the wrong advice and something bad will happen. I don’t know. The fact that people come to me is something I probably won’t ever understand.
